We met a man named Mario in Cape Town. He's not a pizza addicted plumber like his namesake, but a mechanic. He's also someone that has helped us more than any other person on our travels so far. He fixed our car. Trained us how to drive a 4x4 (where we learned how to drive through sand, mud and water (when driving through water, ALWAYS pull up your trousers and walk through the tracks where your tyres will drive and do NOT start your engine whilst under water) and luckily took pity on us and became our friend.
His tuition has proved invaluable so far, but in the Okavango Delta, we nearly came unstuck, hence the full title of this next chapter:
10 things not to do in a national park where the animals (mostly, but not limited to, lions, leopards, elephants, hippos, snakes and spiders) want to kill and/or eat you but not necessarily in that order.
1. Start off the day arguing with your wife
2. Get out of your car to take photos
4. Find out that your no1 spare tyre doesn't fit your car
5. Find out that you don't know how to release your no2 spare tyre from it's bracket
6. Arm your wife with a machete and can of pepper spray for protection from lions
7. Drive around with a wobbly wheel loosely attached to your car
8. Mistake Africa's largest snake (the African Rock Python*) for a log, just as you're about to step on it.
9. Wallow in glory as a man wearing a pink shirt, chinos and cravat has trouble starting his very expensive Landrover.
10. Fail to properly wade through and check the water you're about to drive through to avoid stepping on more Pythons that might be lurking in the muddy deep.
11. Get the car stuck, waist deep in water, in deep holes that were in the murky muddy deep.
12. Try to start the car with the exhaust under water.
13. Swim around in the Croc and Python infested water in an attempt to get the car out.
14. Walk 1km with a machete, can of pepper spray and wife for protection to an empty campsite deviod of help.
15. Mix up pepper spray with insect repellant.
16. Have to ask the very same man in pink shirt, chinos and cravat for a rescue.
*The African Rock Python:
An enormous stout snake, with small smooth scales. Triangular head has many teeth for holding prey. Up to 7metres in length. Usually attacks by biting first, hanging on with it's many teeth, and then coiling around the victim. The African Rock Python usually prefers small antelopes, jackals, monkeys, monitor lizards and crocodiles.